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We are what we are …

legendary essay on cow

HE IS THE COW.
“The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed,
And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is
got child.] He is sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got
four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole
body can be utilised for use.
More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement.
[horses dont have any such attachment]
What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans
and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy
species.
Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, plants as well
as for making flat cakes[like Pizza ] , in hand , and drying in the
sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating.
Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the
inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.
His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when
he is got child.
This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be
paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great
velocity forwards.He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar
animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done
to frighten away the flies

Filed under: sarcasm

Things to do in an exam hall !! Only after you think the exam is a lost case anyways!! :)

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!”

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking.” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. (courtesy: Calvin and Hobbes) Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say “They’ve found me, I have to leave the country” and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out “Merry Christmas.” If you’re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else. ( ๐Ÿ™‚ )

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette’s syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible. ( I googled what this means… ewwwww)

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he’s not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out “Screw this!” and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone’s done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling “I’m here, the phantom of the opera” until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, “I don’t understand ANY of this. I’ve been to every lecture all semester long! What’s the deal? And who the hell are you? Where’s the regular guy?”

25. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don’t know one, make one up!

26. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, “the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!”

28. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

Filed under: sarcasm